To my darlings,

Mom

I have only recently lost you and the emptiness I feel is so great. You were only with me for such a brief time. You existed in my heart and mind since my desire of you began. Your reality came about from a lot of hard work and love. For a few days you gave me the pleasure of being your "Mom". How I wish that I could see you and touch you and smell you. I never had the chance before you left me. I long for the day that I can be with you forever. But meanwhile you continue to reside in my heart. I offer you my tears of loss but I hold onto the joy of your existence. I miss you dearly.

I love you so.

Mami

May 15, 1999

Dearest Children,

Can so much time have passed by already?? It is almost Christmas. I see the celebrations and the wonders that you would have enjoyed had you been here. Everything I do or see or touch somehow reminds me of what I wish I could share with you. You are ever in my thoughts and eternally in my heart. I have continued to try to give you a brother or a sister but these last few months have not met me this success. I'll start trying again in the New Year. And hopefully I will have a new child someday that will crystalize the love I feel for you daily. How I wish you were with me. But if not you than maybe you can send along another angel who can fill these empty arms. I hope you feel the love I extend to you even from this distance. I trust that you are loved and well cared for in the heavens where you were needed. And I pray that someday I may meet you and get to know you for a lifetime. Our days together were too brief. But, my, were they filled with a fullness of heart.

Merry Christmas, sweet angels!

Mami loves you!

December 21, 1999